Computers are CONFUSING Adventure

You know how yesterday I mentioned that I was downloading some software to upload a video of me singing the Pokerap?
Well that didn't work. Not at all. I spent a good part of my day trying to find legal, safe and free software to do the numerous things necessary for me to upload that video. GAAAAAHHHH. I wish I was one of those people that just understood computers. But I am not. I'm probably closer to the uncomprehending old people side of the spectrum. Seriously.
The point is that in the beginning of the day I set out with a mission. And by the end I hadn't accomplished anything. No video. No adventure today. And now I feel the verses of the PokeRap slowly slipping out of my memory. Poo.
On the bright side, I actually did have a good day. I woke up to the chirping of birds, the chorus of leaves rustling outside my window, and my mom yelling at me to "WAKE UP!!!" After I awaken and get ready, I arrive at the barn. Ther I watch the beautiful horse, Armani, gallop around the round pen like a spirit lured outside of a beautiful painting. Blah Blah Blah. I have a great lesson on Armani, Stuart has a good ol' time galloping and bucking like he was 4 again, and overall everything goes well.
Then I get home do some stuffies, have a nice relaxing time and my dad calls to ask if I want to go to Chicago. HECK YES I wanna get out of Sacramento and go to the Windy City! The day goes on and my dad and I make more plans regarding Chicago. Lawdydawdydah.
Later on, I go with my mom and brother to a suprise party for my brother's friend who is also my trainer's son. Now, I'm not really going to go into all the details of the party... the fun moments, how I ruined the suprise, how there was nobody my age, how this dbag was totally dbag. I won't, we don't really have time for that...
But the highlight of my day: My trainer is considering trading her grand prix jumper for my lame (not lame as in not-awesome, but as in incapable of doing regular horsie stuffs) horse!!! Super exciting! Nothing's confirmed yet, but maybe my luck is turning around!
I love Stuart and all, but it's no good for either of us for me to keep him. He would get hurt all the time, and I would never progress.
So nighty night! I got to turn in so I can do 2 adventures tomorrow!

Adventure Three

The baby died.
I finished the book and the baby died.
That's how the book ended.
Can you blame me for my previous depressed mood??
Anyways, after my rant earlier I decided to get back on the horse! Figuratively that is. I decided that I wasn't doing any good just thinking about the state of humanity, of lack there of. So I continued memorizing the Pokerap and voula! I have it memorized!
I'm working on downloading some software as we speak (rather, as I blog) so that I can put up a video for all of y'all. In the meantime you'll just have to settle with this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ6sQ382hRU&feature=related
It is FANTASMIC.
Also, after I got out of my slump, I found my phone and came up with some more ideas for the Excitement List! Yay.

Day 2, or is it 3?

I'm depressed with humanity.
It's as simple as that.
I'm reading The Tortilla Curtain by T.C. Boyle and it's a really great book, but I'm 337 pages in, 20 pages from the end, and every single word feels as if it's not printed on paper, but rather burned into my brain with the hatred of humanity. I'm not so angry with the hate and rascism of the fictional characters, but rather depressed with the reality of what's being portrayed.
Sure, you can say I'm being "overly sensitive" or whatever you'd like to justify you're view of the world. But the truth is that in every person, there is some evil in them. A desire to turn their backs on the helpless, a thoughtless hatred driven by selfish views, a want to care only about themselves. And I am not excluding myself from this. You think I wouldn't rather buy a new ipod than donate money to some dirty bum? I would, and I'm ashamed. I want to do something to make everything alright. I want to volunteer, donate, write poetry. Something to substantiate these feelings I have.
But then again I don't. It would be so much easier just to try to forget that I ever read this book. Easier to push this guilt to the back of my head. And here I am, worrying about how to make my life more exciting, while the rest of the world is starving and dying. What am I to do?
In fact, I didn't really do anything today. Nothing to better anyone. Not myself, not the people that need it. I started on an "Exciting thing," but I stopped to read this book instead. Maybe this is how I'll make the world better. Knowledge? Is that it? Is that how I stop hate crimes, prevent murders and rapes, how I feed the hungry, and end wars? Who knows. Maybe my teachers are right and that's what I should be focusing on. Focusing on spreading knowledge of the world. But there have been people trying to set the world straight since it became crooked. Or has it always been crooked? And I don't see much of a change for the better.
The point is that, I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm struggling with that same helpless, empty feeling I felt before I started this blog. I guess the only thing I can do, is keep working on and for the Constitution. Find my inspiration and change the world.
Well, if that's what I must do, I suppose I'll go back and finish what I started today. Time to memorize that Pokerap!

ADVENTURE-ATION!!!

Obligation: Check
Exploration: Check
Initiation: Check
All that's left to do is Adventure-ation!!!!!!
After my successful Initiation yesterday with the garage sale, I decided that it was time to continue on with my adventure. So today I went to an antique faire! It was the monthly antique faire here in Sactown, and I will admit that this is my second time going to it. But it's different every time so I thought that constituted as a new adventure.
I ended up buying two things, but now that I look back on it, I actually regret buying them. It was just one of those instances where I had money in my pocket (from the yardsale) and I was surrounded by stuff! Stuff that I could buy! Darn you stuff! It's not as if my purchases were ripoffs, or are completely useless. It's just, I could definitely use that money to buy other stuff that I would enjoy more. For instance, I bought a WWJD ring. And I love Jesus and all, don't get me wrong, but I don't even go to church... I don't even know why I bought it really. I also bought a hat. My issue with the hat is that it's fairly hideous on me. My only mirror was a car window a couple feet away, and from there it looked awesome! Now that I see it in a real mirror, not so much. But whatever, it's only money right? HAHA.
I am glad I got out and adventure-ationed. Also I got to hang out with my cool bff J. Glick. And she's going to attempt the Constitution with me! Tomorrow: Pokerap!
On another note... I MISS TV!

Exploration/Initiation

Ok, so I didn't write anything yesterday. This I admit. And I'm going to tell you the reason that I did so was because I was reeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyyyyyy tired. And I'm also going to tell you that's a lie. A BIG OL' LIE. The truth is.......................that I cracked. I caved. I was lured into breaking my Obligation by the irresistable television.
And I feel bad. I regret watching tv. What kind of example am I setting for any and all people that might want to try this Constitution? It wasn't even worth it. It wasn't like the rewarding taboo of large cans of jellybeans before dinner or the fun of disguising yourself as a zombie in a crowd of real zombies, even if you know that if they find out, you're doomed. It was like rebelling by not doing your homework and then feeling really awful when you have nothing to turn in.
Although Kick Ass was a fantastic movie.....as were the plenty of other shows I watched, I was thoroughly dissapointed in my day, and in myself. What a waste. I ended up not finishing my list, but I have come to the conclusion that I will add to it as the days go on and as oppurtunites present themselves.
And being as I decided that yesterday, TODAY I DID MY INITIATION! That's right ladies and gentlemen, I have dove (dived?) into the pool of adventure, excitement, and hopefully happiness. Now, I bet you're all just at the edge of your spinny chair to know what I did first!
I had a garage sale! Mundane, maybe. But it was something new, and it's not always a bad thing to start out small. Not to mention I had a ton of crap. So throughout the whole experience, I met many new people, some kind, some BIG FAT STINKIN' LYING SCOUNDRELS; learned some new things, for instance I got the chance to see a "Large Cent," AKA a big penny from the 1800s, which was pretty nifty; and made $90 bucks. BOOYAH! Well, I gave fifty to my parents for all the help they've given me. AKA allowing me to do the whole thing. But still $40 and an awesome experience is pretty rad.
So I can check yard sale off the list...as well as meeting someone who's been kicked out of a martial arts center for breaking an opponet's leg ON PURPOSE. Yeah, my neighbors are menacing and FRICKIN COOL.
So I've been awake for over 17 hours. I'm tired. And that, my friend, is no lie. So I'm going to sleep. Good night. I said good night!

Exploration: Part II (Horses)

So as I've been exploring I've had some time for a lot of deep thought. One thing in particular I've been pondering is why I'm doing this whole quest for adventure. I mean seriously, what ever made me feel like giving up television and starting such a mission was a good idea?
At first I thought it was because I didn't have anything else to do this summer. But that can't be true because for one, this adventure is going to be a whole year, not just this last month of summer. And two, my life is already fairly exciting. I have horseback riding, and that in itself is a rollercoaster. Just today, I spent seven hours at the barn doing horsey things. And it was fun! Well, mostly fun. I had my fair share of drama, adrenaline, and huge decisions to make while I was there. And that's normal. Plus I can always do crazy stuff with my friends. If staying up all night watching zombie/Nazi movies isn't exciting, I just don't know what is!
So it's not like I  feel that my life is too boring. In fact, I can get overwhelmed sometimes. I figure it all comes back to Kismet. It always comes back to Kismet.
Now before you get confused, I'm not talking about kismet, the Turkish and Urdu word for fate or destiny. I'm talking about the horse I loved and lost.

Here's a little backstory I wrote for a personal essay assignment sophomore year...
(some creative liberties were taken, but the story is 100% true)


“Damn it Kelsey! Pay attention or that horse is going to buck you off!” my horseback riding instructor screeched at me for the fourth time that lesson. I was trying to pay attention, but every time I passed the west pasture I couldn’t help but to stare at this gorgeous chestnut mare. The way her coat shone in the morning sun was like the glimmer of a lucky penny on a busy sidewalk. This striking horse intrigued me; she was so graceful and remarkably pretty, but I’d never seen her ridden before.
Two months later I bought the gorgeous chestnut mare. Her name was Kismet and I’d like to think that her namesake, the Arabic idea of fate or karma, is what brought us together. Apparently she’d been given to our barn for a year because nobody else wanted her. She would bolt, fight the rider, and do whatever she could to have her own way. Nobody at our barn wanted her either, except for me.
It’s not like when I got on her she was instantly tamed and we both fell in love. It wasn’t like that in the least. The moment I got on her the first time, she grabbed the bit and galloped off with me holding on for dear life. And I loved it. I loved this spunky horse and I didn’t care if anybody else did.
For almost a year I learned some of the greatest life lessons on my big copper mare. Kismet made sure I learned all of these lessons the hard way and I don’t think we had a good ride until I had owned Kismet for about six months. I still remember the awful lessons and Kismet remains the only horse to ever try to jump over two jumps at the same time. Still after all those tough days Kismet would nicker at me and I would go over and pet her for as long she wanted. We both learned a lot about each other and the world that year and those were great times, but neither of us knew how short our time together actually was.
It was 8:00 on a crisp Saturday morning, I was walking Kismet down to the round pen to let her loose and get her and get her energy out before I rode. I was pretty early for my lesson and the barn was deserted. As I took Kismet’s halter off she trotted away with her tail high in the air like a flag at the beginning of a race. As I reached the center of the arena to encourage her to canter around, as if on cue, Kismet started galloping around. That horse loved to run! As she soared around the arena she kept a playful eye on me. I knew she wanted to play tag as we usually do, but I was too lazy to run around and play that day so I decided to just make her run until she was tired. As I set off after her, Kismet kicked up a gear and motored around the arena faster than I’d ever seen her go! And she was having so much fun!
Until she tripped. People say that during a frightening moment, the world seems to slow down. For me it happened in the blink of an eye. One second my energetic mare is galloping around at full speed, the next she’s hobbling across the pen. Poor Kismet was still trying to run; if she could, she would run all day and all night. I knew something was wrong and I’d read horror stories where horses would break their legs and have to be put down. As soon as I got to her, I tied Kismet up where she was. My strong horse couldn’t walk another step, although she tried. I raced out of the arena trying to find any help I could. Finally I got to another rider, Ami, and I almost unintelligibly told her of my predicament. Almost as if it were no big deal Ami told me Kismet was probably alright. I respected Ami and I trusted her opinion, but still deep down I knew something was horribly wrong. I dragged Ami to the arena and at the point Kismet was sweating in pain and not putting any pressure on her back left leg at all. From Ami’s expression when she saw Kismet, I knew the prospects weren’t good, but it was all I could do to keep a strong face for Kismet. As Ami went for more help and to call for the vet, I stayed with my panicked horse crying into her mane. We stood there together, her shivering in agony and me shaking with fear for fifteen minutes as others came to try and talk to me. Finally the vet got there and that point I was I alone. I wiped away my tears as he examined her hoof.
He came up and looked me in the eye, “It isn’t good. She’s broken her upper phalanx and that’s where horses put most of their weight.”
At this point it was beginning to become difficult for me to breathe, but I choked out, “What are our options?”
This time he looked away and said, “We can try to help her heal, but she’d be in a lot of pain and she’d never be able to regain full mobility. The best thing you can do is to let her go, but it’s your decision.” I knew a life without running wouldn’t be a life at all for my free spirited mare and I knew that there was only one real choice. All I could do was to yell and collapse onto my broken horse. I held her life in my hands, and she didn’t even know it. Soon the others heard my sobs of horror and they came running.
I don’t even remember what happened for the next ten minutes, or was it ten hours? The next thing I knew was that my mom was asking me if I wanted to be there when she left. I didn’t even answer her, I just started running. I couldn’t kill Kismet! We had such a happy future ahead of us! We were going to win the big shows and make history! I was going to have a sleepover at the barn with her! We were going to spend the whole summer riding bareback through flower meadows! Kismet just couldn’t die!
But when I got back to face reality, she was gone. All that was left was a pile of blankets on a mound where my chestnut mare used to be. I couldn’t even support her at the end, just because I was selfishly afraid! I killed my own horse, and I wasn’t even there to see her go.
I’d give anything now just to hold her head in my arms as she breathed her last breath, but it’s too late. Before she died the thing I wanted most was to be on time to my lesson. I never knew all I’d ever want would be to be there when my horse died, but it’s true. Sometimes we never know what we truly want until it’s gone.


I think the reason that I've never been able to let go of Kismet is because of what she represents to me now. She represents a time when the future looked so bright. A time where I could do anything. It was the time when innocence still allows dreams and encourages hopes, without letting reality crush them all. Kismet represents a passion I could throw myself into. She represents overcoming triumphs and hard work. She represents so much to me now, that sometimes I feel as if I can't remember her at all, only my idea of her.
And that's why I'm doing all of this. I think I'm just trying to get all of that back. I'm trying to find something, I don't know how to look for. It may seem foolish and may seem irrelevant. But that's the truth as I see it. And who knows, maybe I will find another passion and another bright future. One can never know.

For now I'll just keep struggling with the horse that I love, but that can never live up to Kismet's legacy. And I'll just keep trying to find what I'm looking for.

Rest in Peace, Kismet

<3 Stuart

Exploration: Part I

Today I explored!!! Well technically I didn't leave the house, but I explored the innermost depths of my brain! And that counts right? I literally felt like Alice in Wonderland, minus the drugs. It was awesome just laying out in the sun, thinking, dreaming, scheming.
So this is what I came up with: My idea for an Exciting Life is to make a list of 365 fun and new things to do! And I will do these things, you guessed it, over the course of a year. I'll keep you updated with each adventure I embark on and maybe you can have an Exciting Life with your own fun List! So far I have about 80 different ideas, so if I keep brainstorming I can probably get to the Initiation by Saturday!
Isn't it amazing the things we can do with out television?! I actually accomplished a lot today with out the distraction of television. For one I finished cleaning my room! Woot Woot! But fo realsies I literally couldn't walk in there last week, so this is indeed a huge triumph. I also got to work on my tan! No more fluorescent skin! I'm starting to love this no TV idea/hate it with the burning intensity of a thousand Tattoine suns. It's like the relationship between my cat and I. Serious love/hate right there...
Anyways I'm probably going to need some help coming up with exciting things to do, so do you guys have any ideas? You can just comment below, but it has to be something exciting and also something I've never done. So that means no suggesting getting kicked out of the 27th floor of the Wells Fargo Building or spontaneously joining a zombie walk! I'll be putting up my list soon, so you can see what I already have on there!
One last thing before I go...
Look at this picture of my cat wearing a boa. LAWLZ.